Lodge St. Andrew #518

Masonic Opening Ritual

(East End style)

Opening the Lodge the Cockney way:

WM:

OK Bruvvers, ere's the brief

WM:

Tickle them ivories John.

WM:

Bruvvers, 'elp us to open this 'ere gaff

WM:

Bruvver..... why do we 'ave to look lively?

JW:

To make sure the wood's in the 'ole, Guvnor.

WM:

Well, don't just stand there

JW to IG:

OK, Bruvver.... you 'eard the Guv

IG to JW:

Done, John.

JW to WM:

Done, Guv.

WM to SW:

The next bit?

SW:

To see that the Bruvvers are all in the firm.

WM:

Come on, Bruvvers, shake a leg.

WM to JW:

'ow much top brass in this 'ere drum?

JW:

Free Guv. You and the two oppo's wiv the cuffs.

WM to SW:

Bruvver SW, 'ow many others?

SW:

Free John, besides the bouncer, namely the bloke on the door and the two geezers wiv the pool cues.

WM to JW:

Where's the bouncer then?

JW:

Outside the gaff, all tooled up.

WM:

Why's that then?

JW:

E's packing a blade in case we're busted Guv.

WM to SW:

The bloke on the door?

SW:

'overin abaht a bit

WM:

Wot the 'ell for?

SW:

To check the tickets, admit new punters and do wot e's told by my oppo.

WM to JW:

Where's the JD?

JW:

Over there.

WM:

Why?

JW:

To grass to you, Guv and chivvy 'em all up a bit.

WM to SW:

And the other one?

SW:

Next to you Guv.

WM:

Why?

SW:

Errand boy, Guvnor.

WM to JW:

Bruvver JW, wot abaht you?

JW:

On the sidelines. Guv

WM:

Why?

JW:

To nip dahn the pub wiv the bruvvers, get some booze and grub, and get em all back 'ere before the last bell.

WM to SW:

Bruvver SW, wot abaht you?

SW:

Down the shallow end Guv.

WM:

Wot the 'ell for?

SW:

To let 'em know when its ligh'ing up time and to close down the gaff when all the bruvvers 'ave 'ad their cut.

WM to IPM:

Where am I?

IPM:

At the sharp end, Guv

WM:

Why's that then?

IPM:

To keep them lot on their toes, open the gaff and get 'em at it.

WM:

Bruvvers, now that we're all 'ere, its eyes down for a full 'ouse, but before we do, lets get the boss in the technical drawing department to tip us the wink so there's no aggro.

ALL:

Nice one, Guvnor!